[ even if part of her saw this coming, another part of her was hopeful, which just makes hearing that sting even more. there are eleven years between them. she's behind him in terms of life experience. he's still a work in progress. their history, as far behind them as it may be, isn't pretty. what he's saying is true— maybe this really can't happen. maybe there's someone out there for her who wouldn't have all that baggage attached.
the thing is, that's... not really what she wants. a lack of baggage doesn't make chemistry. she hadn't had any problems with jude aside from minor spats growing up, but they hadn't gotten along quite like she and alvin do. they had been like very close siblings more than anything else, her feelings for him aside, and now that's all she sees him as. it's the same with other guys, too. she hadn't felt that spark with the one she went on a date with, either. ]
I don't want some other guy.
[ she doesn't want to make him feel bad about all of this, either, but here she is, blurting out things like that. ]
Besides, you said it made you happy. [ to know that she likes him. and then there was something else that he stopped himself from saying. ] It wouldn't make you happy if it wasn't okay, right?
[ she's not trying to push him into something he doesn't want— she'd never try to force her feelings onto him— but at the same time, she can't help but press the topic a little. she wouldn't be able to focus on anything but this issue if she didn't at least try to get some closure. ]
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the thing is, that's... not really what she wants. a lack of baggage doesn't make chemistry. she hadn't had any problems with jude aside from minor spats growing up, but they hadn't gotten along quite like she and alvin do. they had been like very close siblings more than anything else, her feelings for him aside, and now that's all she sees him as. it's the same with other guys, too. she hadn't felt that spark with the one she went on a date with, either. ]
I don't want some other guy.
[ she doesn't want to make him feel bad about all of this, either, but here she is, blurting out things like that. ]
Besides, you said it made you happy. [ to know that she likes him. and then there was something else that he stopped himself from saying. ] It wouldn't make you happy if it wasn't okay, right?
[ she's not trying to push him into something he doesn't want— she'd never try to force her feelings onto him— but at the same time, she can't help but press the topic a little. she wouldn't be able to focus on anything but this issue if she didn't at least try to get some closure. ]