Alvin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
opportunitycosts) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
highfiving2015-01-27 02:41 am
opportunitycosts) wrote in highfiving2015-01-27 02:41 am
(no subject)
[It had been a couple of weeks since the New Year, and it...well it wasn't exactly the best of starts. After Leia's confession, the two had been a little distant. They still talked and met every now and then, but it wasn't as often. A lot of it as on Alvin, and not just because of increased work with the business.
That night over several glasses of various strong alcoholic beverages, he had told Balan what had happened and for once his cousin didn't mock him or throw sass at him. Instead he just asked Alvin why he rejected her and why he thought they couldn't date. Age aside, from what he had seen, Balan thought they could work out. Balan only knew vague details about their past (well, he knew Alvin had shot her, so perhaps it wasn't so vague), but they were friends now so did it really matter?
And really, Alfred, you don't seriously think you don't feel anything for the girl, do you? I'm no expert, but it's obvious to everyone except you.
In the end, all Alvin could say and be hung over about was the fact that he wasn't the right guy and that whatever feelings he did have shouldn't be allowed. That it's better this way.
Elle and Elize—man did he get an earful from the both of them. Elize yelled at him so much and now she refuses to talk to him. Elle just thinks he's an idiot and doesn't understand why grown-ups have to be so complicated.
If you get along so great, what's the big deal?
All of these questions only make him wonder if he really is doing the right thing. It also makes him realize that...he really might have had deeper feelings for the girl. That those impulses he had weren't just strange, one-off things. If that's true, then why is it so hard for him to accept those feelings and act on them? He already knows how she feels. Or...is he doubting that? Is he afraid that something might happen to change that? That even if she likes him now, she might leave because he can't get his act together?
Whenever those kinds of doubts and thoughts crawl into his mind, he immediately tries to banish them. Leia wouldn't be like that. He knows her better than that. Yet that kind of fear...and knowing how he's not really ready for that kind of relationship either...
In the end, it was just a complicated mess. A mess he himself is creating.
But he does want to keep their friendship and he does realize that he misses her company. So although he recognizes he's being a hypocrite here, he finally sends her that text asking her if she wants to watch the movie. He's glad and relieved when she accepts, even when he offers his place since he has the better system. It wouldn't be the first time, but it would in a while. And the first after her confession. Things...could get awkward, but he would try to act as normal as possible.
So it's now the day they would watch the movie and he's waiting for her at his apartment. And for some reason he actually feels a little nervous about this.]
That night over several glasses of various strong alcoholic beverages, he had told Balan what had happened and for once his cousin didn't mock him or throw sass at him. Instead he just asked Alvin why he rejected her and why he thought they couldn't date. Age aside, from what he had seen, Balan thought they could work out. Balan only knew vague details about their past (well, he knew Alvin had shot her, so perhaps it wasn't so vague), but they were friends now so did it really matter?
And really, Alfred, you don't seriously think you don't feel anything for the girl, do you? I'm no expert, but it's obvious to everyone except you.
In the end, all Alvin could say and be hung over about was the fact that he wasn't the right guy and that whatever feelings he did have shouldn't be allowed. That it's better this way.
Elle and Elize—man did he get an earful from the both of them. Elize yelled at him so much and now she refuses to talk to him. Elle just thinks he's an idiot and doesn't understand why grown-ups have to be so complicated.
If you get along so great, what's the big deal?
All of these questions only make him wonder if he really is doing the right thing. It also makes him realize that...he really might have had deeper feelings for the girl. That those impulses he had weren't just strange, one-off things. If that's true, then why is it so hard for him to accept those feelings and act on them? He already knows how she feels. Or...is he doubting that? Is he afraid that something might happen to change that? That even if she likes him now, she might leave because he can't get his act together?
Whenever those kinds of doubts and thoughts crawl into his mind, he immediately tries to banish them. Leia wouldn't be like that. He knows her better than that. Yet that kind of fear...and knowing how he's not really ready for that kind of relationship either...
In the end, it was just a complicated mess. A mess he himself is creating.
But he does want to keep their friendship and he does realize that he misses her company. So although he recognizes he's being a hypocrite here, he finally sends her that text asking her if she wants to watch the movie. He's glad and relieved when she accepts, even when he offers his place since he has the better system. It wouldn't be the first time, but it would in a while. And the first after her confession. Things...could get awkward, but he would try to act as normal as possible.
So it's now the day they would watch the movie and he's waiting for her at his apartment. And for some reason he actually feels a little nervous about this.]
no subject
All right, all right. I'll leave if you promise we can still hang around each other.
[ because just leaving would be too much like giving up. ]
no subject
[Even if he really would. He's just afraid that something like this will happen again. That he'll slip and confuse and hurt her like this again. But he knows she won't go like that so he relents a little more.]
Just give me some time first.