Alvin (
opportunitycosts) wrote in
highfiving2015-01-31 05:26 pm
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[The next few weeks were... Well "less than stellar" would be a severe understatement. It was no surprise when pretty much everyone in their circle learned about the giant mess of a fallout that occurred between the two. Understandably, Leia had the sympathy and Alvin the flack. Even Jude confronted him and punched him when he couldn't explain himself. What confused everyone was that it was clear the two did have mutual feelings, but the one who was supposed to be an adult wasn't acting them. Rowen tried to reason with him, to give him that elderly mature advice and remind him that this was not the path he had chosen and was one they all thought he had left.
Time and time again, Balan, Rowen, Jude, and even Yurgen asked him the important question: Why not? And all Alvin could say was that it just can't. Eventually they stopped asking since it was clear that Alvin had made up his mind. They didn't agree to it, but there wasn't much they could do. Elize again did not want have anything to do with him, both hurt and disappointed by his actions.
Only Elle contacted him again, and with her usual forthright attitude, remark how stupid he was being. Perhaps it was because Elle didn't have as many deep roots with them that she was able to not be as adversely affected by Alvin's action. She had never seen him before, so it just seems weird to her. And it was to Elle he eventually caved and told about he didn't think he would be a good match for Leia—that she deserved more. When he started to say he wanted her to be happy, Elle was quick to point out that what he was doing now wasn't really helping that. It was a fair point, and one he knew himself, but he just remained silent. He was using the logic that it might be painful in the short run, but it would be better in the long.
While Alvin was on his GHS, Elle had wandered into his office and was just being a nosy pre-teen, looking through his desk. It was there that she stumbled across the long forgotten tickets, and when she pulled them out, Alvin had caught her and was about to give her a playful smack on the head as punishment. But when he saw the tickets, he froze. He remembered the circumstances as to how he acquired them...and more about that particular day. When he saw Elle notice a particularly worn and old looking letter, he quickly shut the drawer, telling her to quit being nosy. But when she asked about the tickets, he told her the truth—they were for him and Leia. The deal was if she didn't miss her deadlines, he'd take her up there. Of course...that plan was shot now, so if Elle wanted to, she could go with Leia in his place.
Of course the girl would have none of it. She quickly pulled out her GHS and called Leia, asking where she was. After that, she grabbed Alvin's hand and forcefully dragged him out, even kicking at his shin when he tried to protest (and damn did that hurt). Not long after, they were at Helioborg, and again Alvin hesitated. He knew what the girl was trying to do, and somehow his feet actually allowed his body to be dragged to it. He had avoided Leia as much as possible, keeping only minimal contact and giving her short replies to any texts or calls she gave him. So seeing her there talking with Jude and Balan made his blood run cold.
It was awkward—he could see Jude giving him the cold look and even stepping closer to Leia, as if to help protect her for whatever pain he might dish out next. Balan on the other hand was a bit intrigued (of course he would). And then Elle was shoving and pushing him toward the group. The topic of the hot springs began, and even though he tried to just give the tickets to Leia for her to do what she wanted, she refused to take them. But he was refusing to go with her because it would be a bad idea. In the end, Balan settled it by taking the tickets and actually calling the hot springs.
"You're lucky, Alfred," Balan said after he hung up. "Those almost expired and that would have been a waste. But you're both good to go now! One honeymoon suite for just the two of you. It was the only one left, so you only have yourself to blame," he added when everyone gave him incredulous looks. "Anyway, it's about time we got back to work. Let's go, Jude."
Alvin could feel the intense look his old friend was giving him. Jude would later call him not to yell, but in a tired and somewhat pleading voice told him, "Just don't hurt her anymore, okay, Alvin? I know you're better than that, so...just try talking it over?"
The days leading up to that overnight trip were heavy for him. Several times he thought about just canceling, but the pressure everyone was giving was more than even he could take. And really, he did owe Leia at least something. He had asked for time to think. Hadn't he thought enough? The very least he could do was at least finally tell her what his thoughts were about this. To apologize. But all the endings that came to his mind after that...they didn't exactly leave him feeling all that good.
And now, they are at the hot springs. He tried to keep a normal facade, smiling and being as casual as possible with her. But he still maintained that distance, both physically and emotionally. Of course they were mistaken as an actual couple, particularly when they were rung up and led to their room. Of course that would just...bring a lot of awkwardness to stay, so he suggests they walk around, check the place out. As is the protocol, they had to change into the yukata-like robes provided and seeing Leia...well he tries very hard not to think too much about it, for once not commenting on how she looks.
The resort is rather large. Not as large as the water park, and it has a very old, traditional Kanbalar flair. But because of the season, there are plenty of people, both from Rieze Maxia and Elympios. There are families, singles, couples. It definitely had a relaxing atmosphere.
Now if only he could actually feel that way.
As they walk, he finally glances over to her.]
So...what do you think? I have to admit it's pretty nice.
[Small talk. Small talk is good, right?]
Time and time again, Balan, Rowen, Jude, and even Yurgen asked him the important question: Why not? And all Alvin could say was that it just can't. Eventually they stopped asking since it was clear that Alvin had made up his mind. They didn't agree to it, but there wasn't much they could do. Elize again did not want have anything to do with him, both hurt and disappointed by his actions.
Only Elle contacted him again, and with her usual forthright attitude, remark how stupid he was being. Perhaps it was because Elle didn't have as many deep roots with them that she was able to not be as adversely affected by Alvin's action. She had never seen him before, so it just seems weird to her. And it was to Elle he eventually caved and told about he didn't think he would be a good match for Leia—that she deserved more. When he started to say he wanted her to be happy, Elle was quick to point out that what he was doing now wasn't really helping that. It was a fair point, and one he knew himself, but he just remained silent. He was using the logic that it might be painful in the short run, but it would be better in the long.
While Alvin was on his GHS, Elle had wandered into his office and was just being a nosy pre-teen, looking through his desk. It was there that she stumbled across the long forgotten tickets, and when she pulled them out, Alvin had caught her and was about to give her a playful smack on the head as punishment. But when he saw the tickets, he froze. He remembered the circumstances as to how he acquired them...and more about that particular day. When he saw Elle notice a particularly worn and old looking letter, he quickly shut the drawer, telling her to quit being nosy. But when she asked about the tickets, he told her the truth—they were for him and Leia. The deal was if she didn't miss her deadlines, he'd take her up there. Of course...that plan was shot now, so if Elle wanted to, she could go with Leia in his place.
Of course the girl would have none of it. She quickly pulled out her GHS and called Leia, asking where she was. After that, she grabbed Alvin's hand and forcefully dragged him out, even kicking at his shin when he tried to protest (and damn did that hurt). Not long after, they were at Helioborg, and again Alvin hesitated. He knew what the girl was trying to do, and somehow his feet actually allowed his body to be dragged to it. He had avoided Leia as much as possible, keeping only minimal contact and giving her short replies to any texts or calls she gave him. So seeing her there talking with Jude and Balan made his blood run cold.
It was awkward—he could see Jude giving him the cold look and even stepping closer to Leia, as if to help protect her for whatever pain he might dish out next. Balan on the other hand was a bit intrigued (of course he would). And then Elle was shoving and pushing him toward the group. The topic of the hot springs began, and even though he tried to just give the tickets to Leia for her to do what she wanted, she refused to take them. But he was refusing to go with her because it would be a bad idea. In the end, Balan settled it by taking the tickets and actually calling the hot springs.
"You're lucky, Alfred," Balan said after he hung up. "Those almost expired and that would have been a waste. But you're both good to go now! One honeymoon suite for just the two of you. It was the only one left, so you only have yourself to blame," he added when everyone gave him incredulous looks. "Anyway, it's about time we got back to work. Let's go, Jude."
Alvin could feel the intense look his old friend was giving him. Jude would later call him not to yell, but in a tired and somewhat pleading voice told him, "Just don't hurt her anymore, okay, Alvin? I know you're better than that, so...just try talking it over?"
The days leading up to that overnight trip were heavy for him. Several times he thought about just canceling, but the pressure everyone was giving was more than even he could take. And really, he did owe Leia at least something. He had asked for time to think. Hadn't he thought enough? The very least he could do was at least finally tell her what his thoughts were about this. To apologize. But all the endings that came to his mind after that...they didn't exactly leave him feeling all that good.
And now, they are at the hot springs. He tried to keep a normal facade, smiling and being as casual as possible with her. But he still maintained that distance, both physically and emotionally. Of course they were mistaken as an actual couple, particularly when they were rung up and led to their room. Of course that would just...bring a lot of awkwardness to stay, so he suggests they walk around, check the place out. As is the protocol, they had to change into the yukata-like robes provided and seeing Leia...well he tries very hard not to think too much about it, for once not commenting on how she looks.
The resort is rather large. Not as large as the water park, and it has a very old, traditional Kanbalar flair. But because of the season, there are plenty of people, both from Rieze Maxia and Elympios. There are families, singles, couples. It definitely had a relaxing atmosphere.
Now if only he could actually feel that way.
As they walk, he finally glances over to her.]
So...what do you think? I have to admit it's pretty nice.
[Small talk. Small talk is good, right?]
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her arms slip around his shoulders when he moves to kiss her, pulling him down to be closer to her. his hands on her breasts had felt nice, but even the simple feeling of his skin on hers is electric at this point, so she arches up toward him as she returns the kiss, pressing her chest more firmly against his.
just like her own receptiveness has surprised her (given that this is her first relationship, her first time in bed with him, and that she's not the type to even consider sleeping with someone unless she has serious feelings for them), the fact that he's so immersed in what they're doing is a surprise. she had actually expected his experience to make it easier for him to hold back, or that it would make him less enthusiastic; that doesn't seem to be the case, but she doesn't mind too much, really. the way that his hands have roamed over so much of her, the rough way he kisses her, the fact that they've only stopped once since all of this started— all of those things only serve to make her feel more sure of herself and of the fact that he really does want her in the same way that she wants him.
maybe that's why she has the confidence to break the kiss after not too long, shifting herself around a bit so that she can dip her head to trail kisses (purposeful ones this time, unlike the light brushes of her lips that had started this) and tentative bites down his neck. on the other hand, as much as she might have an ego about some things, she really can't claim to be an expert when it comes to this— she's really just imitating what he had done to her. so... ]
Is this okay?
[ she says that between kisses, her voice somewhat breathless at this point. ]
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Through the mental haze of pleasure, his mind tries to process her question. Is...what okay?]
You mean what you're doing? Yeah, it is. [His voice is a lot heavier, rougher, breathless.
Really, it's more than just "okay." He tilts his face slightly and there's a small intake of breath when she reaches one of his more sensitive areas. But it's a good feeling—a pleasurable one. It makes him try to lower his face to reach something of her. Neck, shoulder, anything.]
If you're not careful, I might lose control again.
[He says that in a teasing manner, his voice low and alluring, and his hands further emphasize that point as the one at hip moves up her side before back down again.
But the thought of him losing control...is an actual possibility, so he might also be saying it to remind himself that he needs to be careful.]
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the fact that her mouth on his neck is having some sort of effect on him is yet another boost to her confidence, too. it means that he's not the only one who can do things that feel good— by following the example he set, she can return the favor.
so, return the favor she does.
it's a little clumsy, but she continues pressing kisses against his neck, and though the bites aren't quite as common, each one is a little rougher than the one that came before it; he'll probably be lucky if he comes out of this without at least a mark or two at the rate she's going.
however, she does lighten up on him so she can speak again after a moment, this time lifting her head a bit so she can look up at him. ]
Still good?
[ her voice has a slightly teasing edge to it, too. as more time passes, she feels more comfortable, and that makes it easier to have an exchange like this— though part of it might be an excuse to get him talking. not only is it reassuring to actually hear a verbal confirmation that she's headed in the right direction, but the way his voice sounded was... actually pretty appealing. even if she probably wouldn't be able to tell him that (it's too embarrassing, in spite of how far into this they are), she's definitely thinking about it. ]
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But she sure is a talkative one. Not that he minds too much, but it is different. There's a slight smirk as he looks down at her.]
For a first-timer. [Her inexperience shows, but she really isn't doing that bad. So long as she follows her instincts, he's sure it'll be pleasurable all the same.
But he also knows how she is, so he has a suspicion that she does need that reassurance. So he's going to take this opportunity to make it clear how he feels right now.
His voice lowers a bit more as his lips brush against hers.] Just do whatever you want. [His teeth lightly pull at her lower lip.] You're the only one I want to do this with right now...so there's no way I won't enjoy it. Just feeling you like this—right now—is enough to set me off, you know.
[As hot and sensual as those words might seem, there is some tenderness in his voice as well. A bit of genuineness lying beneath the more sexual overtones. That is how he really feels after all, and he just wants to make it a little clearer to her that he is very much attracted to her and is going to enjoy whatever she does to or with him.]
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hearing him say that actually catches her off guard, and even though she does move to kiss him properly in response (possibly to keep herself from blurting something weird out), her heart is racing and she can feel pricks of heat on her ears and the back of her neck, meaning that she's probably blushing more than she may have already been.
the fact that she can tell he's being genuine is embarrassing for sure, but it really does make her happy to hear. she trusts that he has feelings for her and she knows that he agreed to give a relationship a chance, but actually hearing him say that she's the only one he wants to do this with just makes it feel more real than it had before. like this isn't an impulsive, lust-driven encounter, but instead something special, in spite of how fast they've been going.
so, she's actually smiling— a real smile, not a teasing one or cheeky one— when she breaks the kiss to respond. ]
You're the only one I wanna do this with, too. [ she already hinted at that once before, when she said that she wanted to take this step with him, but it probably bears repeating.
she brushes her lips against his softly, one last time, before continuing: ] And I've liked everything you've done.
[ which... she hasn't said, but that should be pretty obvious, too, at this point. she has moved to meet him every step of the way, and she hasn't tried to keep him from doing anything (which she probably wouldn't be above doing if she didn't like something), so that should be pretty easy to see. ]
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So he's happy to hear her words, a light smile meeting hers. And he can hear the sincerity in her voice, a sincerity he's always known she's had. Just...somehow his old self couldn't bring himself to trust it as he should have.
However, those words and feelings also incite some other thoughts and impulsive urges.]
...Aaaah, dammit, Leia. [He lowers his face onto the pillow alongside her ear, gritting his teeth.] You're making this really hard for me, you know that?
[The mood is just way too good. As sweet and tender as it is, by his very nature he wants to respond more physically. Yet he's aware that they're probably not ready for it.
Even if this is the perfect set-up, dammit.
Being a considerate boyfriend in an actual relationship is really hard, dammit!!]
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she she's pretty sure she knows what he means (how could she not, at this point?) and more than that, she understands. she might be enjoying the sweetness of this moment, but she has the urge to make things more physical, too. in fact, were this not her first time being in a situation like this, she probably would have encouraged him to stop holding back a long, long time ago. as it is, she's really starting to consider it. ]
Because you want to go all the way, right? [ she has to work to get those words out, because actually saying it out loud is... still embarrassing regardless of their current situation. she even has to take a breath to steel herself before continuing: ] Don't get me wrong! I do, too. But even if we decided to go for it...
[ and she trails off there for a long moment, her embarrassment rising. this is something that has been weighing on her mind on and off for a while now— since before she even came into the bedroom, really— but that doesn't make it any easier to say. ]
We're not, uh... prepared, are we?
[ hopefully he catches her drift. ]
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He's a little uncertain here, and once again her age creeps into the back of his mind...but she's eighteen now so it's not as much of a problem. So now it comes down more to that this is technically their first real night together and first real time that they're in an actual relationship and he said he'd go slow and not rush things, but—
But he's also certain that unlike with anyone else, he's not going to leave her anytime soon. He just...doesn't want her first time to be something she might regret, especially if, spirits forbid, things don't work out.
But right. Her question. He shifts a little so that he's back more on his side, looking a little conflicted as to how to. Say this.]
Well... [Being honest. Right.] Initially? No. I stopped carrying a while ago since I gave up having random one night flings. [And he says this easily enough since he has no real issue admitting it. It's the next bit that is causing him a little trouble.] But I was informed by the staff earlier that apparently this room is actually well prepared for "certain activities." [The look he gives her should be a good implication of what kind the woman had been referring to.]
I don't know where since I didn't look, but my bet would be in that side dresser right next to us. [Seems the most logical.] So if you really did want to... [A small rise of his shoulder.
But then he looks at her, expression softening.]
But even so, are you really sure you'd want to do it, Leia? I mean, I don't mind waiting for you. It's your first time, right?
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she shakes her head in an attempt to keep herself on track and from getting too caught up in that line of thought. he asked her a question, too, so she should probably... answer it. right. ]
Yeah, it's my first time. [ just what kind of girl does he think she is? if this weren't such a serious situation, she would probably swat at him for that. as it is, she does say it in a way that suggests she thinks that much should be obvious. ] But I'm pretty sure I want to do it. I l—
[ she almost lets the elusive "L word" slip out as part of her reasoning, but she quickly shuts her mouth. she's harbored feelings for him for a while at this point, so maybe the fact that she thinks they're that strong isn't too strange, but... actually saying it? especially when they've only just made their relationship official? well, it's a little harder than it sounds. ]
I mean, I'm pretty serious about us, and I think we both want it, so... why not!
[ she's making an effort to stay casual about it, but the more she considers the situation they might be getting ready to jump into, the more antsy she feels. she means what she said— she's serious about them and she does want this— but that doesn't make her feel any less jittery. if anything, the fact that she genuinely wants to take things to the next level makes it worse. ]
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He tries to parse his next words, and when he finally responds, the hand that had been teasing her hip and side moves up to lightly touch the side of her jaw in a gentle caress.]
Leia, I know this means more to you than it might mean to me. [—Wait.] I mean, it being your first time. Not saying that it wouldn't mean anything to me, just—[Okay well that kind of frazzled out fast. Apparently this is actually harder for him to get his meaning across that he expected. (He also may start hating the word "mean.") He briefly closes his eyes and takes a quick breath.] What I mean is you don't have to rush into it.
[And then a small pause.]
I also don't want you to coming out of this with regrets later. You know...have doubts if we really should have done it before waiting a bit or something like that.
[Sexual impulse versus making a full decision and preparing herself for it. Although it could be safe to say that any earlier impulsion they might have had have dimmed by now.]
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he doesn't want her to regret this, and she doesn't want to have any regrets, either. she wants to be able to look back on her first time— their first time as a couple— fondly. on the other hand, would it really be so bad if they didn't wait? and how long would they wait, if they did? a few days? a few weeks? months? she may not feel as fired up and impulsive as before, but the fact that she wants this still remains, so waiting isn't as appealing as it probably should be, especially when she considers waiting for a long period of time.
in fact, there are only two things that could make her genuinely regret jumping into things at this point. the first would be them not working out. that, or him taking this less seriously than she is. she's too optimistic to want to dwell on the possibility of them breaking up when their relationship is so new, though— they work great as friends, and they both have feelings for each other, so in theory their relationship should be pretty solid, right? maybe not perfect, but certainly something that wouldn't crumble easily. and he seems pretty serious, too. if he weren't, would they still be talking about this?
she can't say for sure, of course, but she suspects that the answer to that question would be "no". on top of everything he's already said to her, if he stopped having random flings but he's with her, that has to mean something, she figures. ]
I don't think I'll regret it. [ her voice is softer now, more serious. ] Whether we do it tonight or three months from now, there won't be that much of a difference, right?
[ one hand comes up to curl over his shoulder carefully, giving it a gentle squeeze, which is probably meant to be reassuring. ]
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But three months... ...Well he's not sure he'd be able to wait that long, but it is a nice thought to imagine them still together at least. In fact, it's not that hard to imagine them together even a year from now or even more. Even when they were just friends, it had been easy to imagine being with her. Now it's just easier and a little more pleasant.
So a small smile forms, his lips lightly brushing against her cheek.]
You are way too good for me, you know that? Seriously, I don't know what you see in me. [It's a light tease, but it is a question he'll likely ask for the rest of his life.]
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[ and that was back when he was still rejecting her feelings. the fact that they're together only gives her more to like. so, she shifts to return that kiss (though hers lands on his lips instead of his cheek) and she's smiling when she pulls back to look at him. ]
I'm not that great, anyway.
[ she means it as a joke, but there is some truth to it, too. the things that have happened between them so far have definitely boosted her confidence and made her sure of his feelings, but that doesn't mean her ego has grown so large that she could think she's too good for him. she might even wonder what he sees in her sometime down the road— but for the time being, that's pretty far from her mind. she knows he has feelings for her and that he's attracted to her, and that's good enough for the moment.
and besides, she's a little preoccupied with more interesting things, like leaning in for another kiss. the other one had been more of a quick, barely-there brush of her lips against his than a real kiss, but this one has purpose. it's not as fiery as the ones they shared before their talk, but there's definitely feeling behind it. ]
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In that case...I think we've done enough talking.
[He's feeling those desires stirring again, only this time they're not as heavily influenced by lust. Fingers threading to her hair, his voice is just loud enough for her to hear.]
Let's just see where this goes, and if you still want it...then we'll do it. [He lifts his face slightly so that his eyes could meet hers.] And if you change your mind, just stop me and I'll stop.
[He's ready to get back to being physical, but he just wants this last confirmation of what's going on here. Because he has a very strong feeling that once he starts again, he's not going to stop. Not unless she actually tells him to.]
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You know, for as much as you play the jerk sometimes, you really are considerate when it matters. [ and she leans in again for another kiss, pulling away so that her lips barely brush his as she continues: ] I'm pretty sure most guys would've already gone for it at this point.
[ and yet here they are, still partially dressed even though she's all but given him the go-ahead.
her words are probably meant to encourage him, because that consideration— the fact that he's willing to go at her pace— really only fuels the fact that she wants to do this. knowing that he'll stop if she tells him to is also comforting (just in case), but... given how far in they already are and how much she's starting to want this, she probably won't need to do that. ]
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[Well, for tonight, at least. He really could have waited longer, but his words are more part of the tease and play than actual seriousness. And to prevent her from responding, his mouth closes on hers much more firmly than their most recent kiss exchanges, his body shifting to press more against her.
Despite basically giving him the go ahead, he's not going to immediately go for it. There's been a bit of an extended break and it would be better to have that build-up again. So he'll first start with that kiss, his arms and hands slowly but deliberately moving to reacquaint themselves with her body—particularly certain areas—to get her riled up again. But then at some point she may feel his hand reaching lower, actually going past her hip to her inner thigh...and then drift to that space in-between and just give her a light, almost experimental brush with his fingertips.
It's like a test to see if she really is ready for this, because if she feels uncomfortable with him doing even that much, he'll stop.]
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the talk they had was probably a good thing and the lighter kisses they had exchanged were nice, too, but getting back into the mood definitely isn't a bad thing, either. so while his hands roam, hers will start to do the same— they slide over his shoulders and chest, and her hands might even flirt with the sash of his robe for a brief moment before they slide back up. she wants to undo it (and it would be fair, given how close to being fully undressed she is), but she's still got a mild case of the first time jitters, so she'll stick to feeling up his torso and chest. for the time being, at least, since she does know it will have to come off eventually.
and besides— she's very aware of where his hands are, and where that particular hand is going, so that provides a pretty good distraction.
the pace they're going at this time around seems to be a little more relaxed, but the fact that he barely even touches her is... kind of frustrating, in a way, so her hips actually shift down toward his hand a bit, even if it's more or less an unconscious movement. the mild frustration she's feeling gets channeled into the way she kisses him, too, as her teeth graze his lower lip. it might not be as rough or passionate as some of the other kisses they've exchanged, but the fact that she's doing that and not trying to swat his hand away is probably a good sign that she's still fine with what he's doing. ]
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By this time, his robes have fallen lower, and if she doesn't undo the sash, he probably will soon enough. Rather than the cold air, he can feel the heat left behind from each fingertip, and he kind of craves that she move lower, but even now he knows better than to expect that much. First time and all that.
So he responds in kind, both the kiss and his touch becoming more aggressive. Once more the kiss becomes a bit more open mouthed, his own teeth grazing and biting playfully before his tongue slipping through when he finds the chance. And then, instead of those light, testing brushes, his fingers press a little harder and a little firmer as they slide against her. Now his touch is teasing, taunting—trying to see where he can provoke her the most. It will still start off a little slow, but depending on how she reacts, it might get more aggressive rather quickly.]
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... and just like before, she struggles with it a bit.
on the plus side, that frustration combined with his touch and the heated turn the kiss has taken are more than enough to get her riled up again. she's definitely starting to get more aroused, too, which only makes her want to get his robe off faster; she can feel plenty of his skin like this, but she wants more. so, she gives the sash one last rough yank to loosen it up and pull it off before she tosses it away— it was really starting to tick her off, and it's not like they'll need it anymore, anyway— before she breaks the kiss to shift her attention back down to his neck.
his words from before, when he told her he would like anything she did, echo in her mind as she bites and kisses her way down his neck, and they help add more confidence to what she's doing. she's still not as skilled as someone with more experience under their belt might be and some of her bites might be just a little overzealous because she's starting to get pretty into this, but she's probably making up for the departments she's lacking in with her enthusiasm, at least. ]
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He's about to return back down, but through the dying embers of the fireplace and the dim moonlight that passes through the window, he can make out just enough of her body lying beneath him. Unfortunately it's not as clear as he'd like, but he can make out certain angles and curves, the ripples of fabric still clinging onto her, the rise and fall of her chest, the light in her eyes. He doesn't need full light to know how she looks and know how beautiful he thinks she is.
His desires and need reignited, he roughly grabs her and actually half pulls, half rolls her to him as he falls back down onto the futon, moving her in such a way so that she's at least partially on top of him this time (maybe all the way depending on how she moves). As his hands move to forcefully pull the rest of the robe off her, he leans up a bit so that his mouth returns her own attack, teeth roughly nipping and grazing at her collarbone before giving even harder and tender bites more along the top of her breast. She may have marked his neck, but he's definitely going to be leaving marks on her there. A place where only they will see and know.]
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that is, until he pulls back to take his robe off the rest of the way.
some of her frustrations leave her as she watches him wrestle with it, but the way he abruptly stops touching her leaves her feeling frustrated in an entirely different way. the fact that she can tell that he's looking at her once he gets his robe off doesn't do anything to lessen that feeling, either. any remaining insecurities she might have had about her body are more or less gone, and she might even be smiling slightly as she takes that moment to look at him. the low light means that she can't see every line and detail of his face and body, but even if she wouldn't consider him beautiful, she can still take the time to admire him— he really is handsome, and his body makes her wish that there were just a little more light, so she could see it properly. she's seen him shirtless in other situations and she's had her hands all over him at this point, but neither of those things really measure up to the idea of being able to see him in the moment.
luckily, she doesn't get to dwell on that for too long. she moves with him when he grabs her and rolls them over, meaning that she is in fact fully on top of him when they settle. she even works with him to get her robe off, slipping her arms from the sleeves as he pulls at it. once it's gone (and she's beyond caring where it goes, because she's really tired of those damn robes and everything that goes along with them), her hands come up to grip his shoulders, and they slide into his hair when she feels his teeth on her collarbone and then her breasts. she might be embarrassed by the marks that he'll end up leaving behind when she sees them for herself, but she's not really thinking about that in the moment. she's more occupied with the fact that it feels good in spite of the roughness, and the way that their position gives her more control, making it possible for her to rock against him slightly. ]
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Both hands at her hips, he moves beneath her just slightly so that he could better feel her (and her him) before doing his own hard grind against her, pushing her down a bit as he does. He's being a little controlling, but only to give her an idea as well as a taste of what he's been wanting to do for a while now. So long as they don't lose too much control of themselves they should be fine, but perhaps that risk adds to the arousing heat and passion. It really does feel so damn good, even if it had been just one simple grind.
Of course, no one said it would only be one.]
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so, she mirrors his grind with one of her own, stifling a noise in the back of her throat as she moves against him; her movements might be a little less forceful than his, but that's likely because she's not sure how hard would be too hard, or if there's even a such thing as "too hard" to begin with when it comes to things like this. it's probably better to be safe than sorry, though, especially when a wrong move could ruin the mood they've built up.
though, if he doesn't make a move to search the dresser for a condom soon, she might end up doing it herself. all of the teasing combined with how far along they are means that she's starting to get eager to move on to the real thing, which might be obvious by the way she continues to press against him even after that initial grind. ]
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By now things are getting a bit more audible, his own deep moans and breaths escaping him when she presses down in just the right way. After a few rounds of this, he pulls her roughly down to him, arms fast around her as a leg hooks with hers. That's the only warning she gets before he rolls them back over so that he's on top. He gives her one fierce kiss before rolling off slightly to reach out and try to find the dresser—where is it, oh there. He is definitely fumbling a bit since he really doesn't know the layout of the room that well, but it's fortunately right above them.
So there's going to be a brief respite as he gets that taken care of, but when he does he'll be back on her and—even if he's now in position, he'll take one last moment to look down at her. Even though just moments before they were pretty heated and even now his breathing is harder and more ragged than before, that need so very strong now, he does realize that this is a pretty big moment and step for them—and they really just started.
For that reason, he slowly reaches up and runs his hand through her hair, pulling her into a deep, but not as rough kiss. There's still that sense of need and things will quickly escalate in the next few seconds, but there's still that underlying tenderness as well. Even now, he's still aware of who he's with—something he hasn't really thought about in a very long time.]
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that last kiss didn't do anything to calm her down— not by a long shot— and even though she had been unsure when they started this, she's more certain than ever that it's what she wants. they're taking a big step, and maybe it is a little hasty to jump into having sex when they haven't even been together as a couple for a full day, but when has she ever not been impulsive and frankly a little reckless? and besides, she trusts him— she trusts that he's taking this seriously, and that his feelings for her are equally serious. his actions have helped her feel confident about that, too. every chance he's given her to change her mind, every bit of reassurance he's given her— all of those things, combined with her feelings for him, make it easy to feel like this is the right choice. that he's someone worth taking such a big step with, regardless of how quickly they're doing it.
of course, this is a pretty far cry from the ruined mess of a friendship they had only a few years ago, too— and that thought actually makes her feel happy, in a way. they've come a long way and they've both put a lot of work into repairing their friendship, and now it's blossoming into something more. if that isn't a testament to the wonders of hard work, what is?
that's what she's thinking as she feels his fingers threading through her hair, and she might even be smiling into the kiss when their lips first make contact, good as her mood is, though that changes quickly as she starts to kiss him back. she doesn't stop feeling happy or sure of herself, but those feelings end up mixing with the same sort of need she was feeling when he pulled away before, and she ends up trying to coax the kiss into becoming more open-mouthed (but maybe not quite as aggressive) as a result. ]
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I SWEAR I FIXED THAT HTML WTFFF
I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE IT UNTIL AFTER THE FACT, DON'T WORRY
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