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[The next few weeks were... Well "less than stellar" would be a severe understatement. It was no surprise when pretty much everyone in their circle learned about the giant mess of a fallout that occurred between the two. Understandably, Leia had the sympathy and Alvin the flack. Even Jude confronted him and punched him when he couldn't explain himself. What confused everyone was that it was clear the two did have mutual feelings, but the one who was supposed to be an adult wasn't acting them. Rowen tried to reason with him, to give him that elderly mature advice and remind him that this was not the path he had chosen and was one they all thought he had left.

Time and time again, Balan, Rowen, Jude, and even Yurgen asked him the important question: Why not? And all Alvin could say was that it just can't. Eventually they stopped asking since it was clear that Alvin had made up his mind. They didn't agree to it, but there wasn't much they could do. Elize again did not want have anything to do with him, both hurt and disappointed by his actions.

Only Elle contacted him again, and with her usual forthright attitude, remark how stupid he was being. Perhaps it was because Elle didn't have as many deep roots with them that she was able to not be as adversely affected by Alvin's action. She had never seen him before, so it just seems weird to her. And it was to Elle he eventually caved and told about he didn't think he would be a good match for Leia—that she deserved more. When he started to say he wanted her to be happy, Elle was quick to point out that what he was doing now wasn't really helping that. It was a fair point, and one he knew himself, but he just remained silent. He was using the logic that it might be painful in the short run, but it would be better in the long.

While Alvin was on his GHS, Elle had wandered into his office and was just being a nosy pre-teen, looking through his desk. It was there that she stumbled across the long forgotten tickets, and when she pulled them out, Alvin had caught her and was about to give her a playful smack on the head as punishment. But when he saw the tickets, he froze. He remembered the circumstances as to how he acquired them...and more about that particular day. When he saw Elle notice a particularly worn and old looking letter, he quickly shut the drawer, telling her to quit being nosy. But when she asked about the tickets, he told her the truth—they were for him and Leia. The deal was if she didn't miss her deadlines, he'd take her up there. Of course...that plan was shot now, so if Elle wanted to, she could go with Leia in his place.

Of course the girl would have none of it. She quickly pulled out her GHS and called Leia, asking where she was. After that, she grabbed Alvin's hand and forcefully dragged him out, even kicking at his shin when he tried to protest (and damn did that hurt). Not long after, they were at Helioborg, and again Alvin hesitated. He knew what the girl was trying to do, and somehow his feet actually allowed his body to be dragged to it. He had avoided Leia as much as possible, keeping only minimal contact and giving her short replies to any texts or calls she gave him. So seeing her there talking with Jude and Balan made his blood run cold.

It was awkward—he could see Jude giving him the cold look and even stepping closer to Leia, as if to help protect her for whatever pain he might dish out next. Balan on the other hand was a bit intrigued (of course he would). And then Elle was shoving and pushing him toward the group. The topic of the hot springs began, and even though he tried to just give the tickets to Leia for her to do what she wanted, she refused to take them. But he was refusing to go with her because it would be a bad idea. In the end, Balan settled it by taking the tickets and actually calling the hot springs.

"You're lucky, Alfred," Balan said after he hung up. "Those almost expired and that would have been a waste. But you're both good to go now! One honeymoon suite for just the two of you. It was the only one left, so you only have yourself to blame," he added when everyone gave him incredulous looks. "Anyway, it's about time we got back to work. Let's go, Jude."

Alvin could feel the intense look his old friend was giving him. Jude would later call him not to yell, but in a tired and somewhat pleading voice told him, "Just don't hurt her anymore, okay, Alvin? I know you're better than that, so...just try talking it over?"

The days leading up to that overnight trip were heavy for him. Several times he thought about just canceling, but the pressure everyone was giving was more than even he could take. And really, he did owe Leia at least something. He had asked for time to think. Hadn't he thought enough? The very least he could do was at least finally tell her what his thoughts were about this. To apologize. But all the endings that came to his mind after that...they didn't exactly leave him feeling all that good.

And now, they are at the hot springs. He tried to keep a normal facade, smiling and being as casual as possible with her. But he still maintained that distance, both physically and emotionally. Of course they were mistaken as an actual couple, particularly when they were rung up and led to their room. Of course that would just...bring a lot of awkwardness to stay, so he suggests they walk around, check the place out. As is the protocol, they had to change into the yukata-like robes provided and seeing Leia...well he tries very hard not to think too much about it, for once not commenting on how she looks.

The resort is rather large. Not as large as the water park, and it has a very old, traditional Kanbalar flair. But because of the season, there are plenty of people, both from Rieze Maxia and Elympios. There are families, singles, couples. It definitely had a relaxing atmosphere.

Now if only he could actually feel that way.

As they walk, he finally glances over to her.]

So...what do you think? I have to admit it's pretty nice.

[Small talk. Small talk is good, right?]

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[ she almost wonders if it's over when he breaks the kiss— but apparently not. they're still edging close to that line, and she's still not making any moves to stop. maybe it's her poor impulse control coming back to bite her, or maybe it's because her blood is pumping. maybe it's because of all of the tension that has been building between them for so long, or maybe it's a combination of all of those things. either way, she tips her head a bit to make room for him as he starts down her neck.

the thing is, it catches her by surprise when she feels her robe start to slip down. it doesn't take her out of the moment completely, because everything else that's happening is providing a pretty nice distraction, but she does tense up a little at the sudden feeling of cool air on her skin, the hand that's fisted in the front of his robe holding on tighter.

when his lips brush a particularly sensitive spot, though, she feels her mouth moving before she can stop herself. ]

Are we actually going to... [ can she say it? no, she can't. so there's a moment of hesitation before she continues. ] ... you know?

[ she definitely can't take it back now that she's blurted it out, so all she can hope is that she hasn't put the breaks on wherever this was going.

then again, if they really were heading in that direction, actually talking about it would be a good idea... right? maybe? especially since she still doesn't know what that staff member so helpfully informed him about. ]

[It does make him pause, but it doesn't quite stop him. It's something that has been on the back of his mind (rather constantly since he knows those urges well) so it's not as if her question is hitting like a ton of bricks.

His lips lightly rest against her collarbone, hand at her shoulder. His fingers lightly run against her skin, circling a bit.] I wasn't planning on it. [His voice is a very soft murmur, and then he shifts his face away and leans up to look down at her.

There's no sense of flustered hesitancy from before, and instead there's somewhat of a deep intensity in his eyes as he stares down at her. And from his angle, he can see more than just her face—the exposed neck and shoulder, the top of her cleavage. But rather than alluring parts of her body, he's just seeing her.]

...But do you want to?

[Again, his voice is soft, and there is a bit of a serious tone in his voice as his face lowers back down closer to hers.]

If you don't, it's fine. [He is aware that doing so on their first night together might be...too much too fast. Not that he's never done it before, but somehow, it's much different with Leia.] Just know I can do a lot of things without going all the way.

[ for the first time since they started this, she actually takes a moment to think.

does she want this? on a physical level, the answer is a pretty solid "yes". that much is obvious, and she doesn't spare it much thought. what they had been doing felt good, and before she opened her mouth, she hadn't wanted it to stop. if she hadn't spoken up, she probably would've kept pushing them along (or, at the very least, encouraging him to push them along).

on an emotional level, though...

as mature as she may be past her easygoing, cheerful ways, it's hard to put her finger on a definite answer. does she have feelings for him? definitely, and she's confident about his feelings, too. she trusts him, so that's not an issue, either. but... ]

I dunno. [ the hand that had been grasping at his robe finally loosens up a bit, and she lets herself toy with the edge of it as she continues, keeping her voice quiet and soft in a way that matches his. ] It's a big step to take, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't wanna take it with you.

[ which is true, really, even if saying it makes her face feel warm. she might be good at having heart to hearts in some situations, but this might not be one of them.

she does, however, find the nerve to shift forward to lightly brush her lips against his— call it reassurance, a sign that she really is interested in spite of her uncertainty. ]

Why don't you tell me a little more about all the other things you've got up your sleeve, and we can see what happens from there?

[It's an answer he more or less expected, and it's one he understands. But the kiss is a nice bit of reassurance, and he smiles a little.]

Tell you, huh... You sure you'd want me to actually say what I have in mind? [There's a bit of a devious smirk playing at his lips, his voice having that teasing hint. But instead of just playful, there is something sensual about it, as if giving a small implication of the kind of "things" he's thinking about.]

[ she may not mirror his smirk, but that does get her to smile. even if he's flirting or teasing, the fact that they can be like that instead of falling into awkwardness is nice. the entire situation might still be a little embarrassing, but the fact that things are close to normal is what keeps her from backing out or feeling uncomfortable instead of just unsure. ]

I guess you've got a point there. You'd probably just say something super embarrassing. [ and now her fingers are going to curl into the fabric of his robe again, tugging lightly. ] Maybe you should just show me, instead.

Gladly. [But then there's a small pause. The flow and mood is nice, and he does feel he could easily just do what his instincts and needs wants. He knows that while things might get aggressive or a little rough, he wouldn't hurt her. Even so, he raises his eyes a bit to look at her.] If I do go too far, though...tell me, all right?

[There's sincerity and a hint of concern in his voice. He knows how to be sensitive to a woman's body, know the signs and signals of what she may or may not like. He's going to be extra attentive to Leia here. But he also knows that he might get carried away if things go too well, and there are things that are coming to mind even now that he wants to do, but wonders if it might be too much.]

[ that concern actually makes her smile widen. even more than knowing they're okay and that her little question hadn't ruined the night, actually hearing serious confirmation that he's taking her boundaries into consideration in spite of how much he typically teases and jokes around is... kind of touching, in a way. ]

You bet. [ and she nods. ] The same goes for you, alright? If I do something weird, just say the word.

[ because even if he's going to be showing her a thing or two, she probably won't be able to keep her hands to herself. ]

[That earns her a bit of a grin.]

I don't think I'll be complaining too much. [And then he gives her a soft kiss before his teeth nibble her lower lip a bit.] So...should I continue where I left off? [Except before she can even answer, his mouth is again on hers for a deeper kiss.

Despite the potential brevity of their little conversation just now and the break cooling the heated moments from before, he actually feels a little more lighthearted. It's as if there's a little less "pure lust" tainting his actions and more of that genuineness.]

[ as appealing as those heated kisses from before had been, she returns this one with just as much enthusiasm, one hand splaying across his chest while the other moves to cup the side of his face.

he did ask her a question, though, even if he didn't give her a chance to answer— so she pulls away after a moment, her teeth grazing his lip as she does. ]

You know, I'm pretty sure that's not where you left off. [ and she leans in a little, lightly pressing her forehead to his as she flashes him a cheeky smile. ]

[Actually feeling her hand against his chest sends a few more pleasing signals. It's not that he's never felt it before, but in this context it feels so much different and helps fuel that need of his.]

Small change in plans. [Said with a light smirk.] And I'm going to take that as a, "Yes." [Again her kisses her, with that same heat and fervor before he moves back to her neck to return to previous affectionate assault.

Only this time his hands move, the one at her shoulder now pressed firmly against her skin as it slides down her arm, pushing the sleeve further down as it does. The other slides up her side, toward her chest. It's soon in the position where it had been before back when they were in the main room, only this time it doesn't stop—at least not completely. His fingers gripping her back, only his thumb curves and presses up against the underside of her breast, gently but firmly tracing it before slowly ascending further upwards.

It had been tempting to slip that hand inside her robes and do this, but he's already implicating quite a bit. Half-feeling, half-undressing her. He's not even sure himself if he would pull it all away, but given the nature of them being robes, probably. Of course he would stop if she made any indication he should, and he's being attentive to how she reacts right now. But, well. She asked him to show him what he meant, and he's going to do exactly that.]

Edited 2015-02-13 23:01 (UTC)

[ even it's not skin-on-skin, she squirms when she feels where his hand is going. it's a little embarrassing (and even if he had reassured her earlier, a small part of her still wonders if he's going to be disappointed if and when he sees her undressed), but unlike the previous two times that they were in a situation like this, she doesn't try to disrupt him by speaking, and she doesn't move away, either. if anything, she might even arch into his touch.

she actually reciprocates, too, her hands moving to tug his robe so it's more open, like hers is, so that she can feel bare skin when she slides her hands against his chest again.

teasing and bravado aside, she's not sure of herself enough to try anything more exciting than that— especially since, unlike him, she has no real experience and doesn't know what he might like— but the fact that she's actively trying to get his clothes off should serve as a good indicator that she's okay with what he's doing, at least. ]

[It's a very good indicator since he had some uncertainty in the back of his mind and wondering if he's going too far too fast. And...well as a guy he really doesn't have as much for her to work with, but just feeling her hands and her touch is stimulating enough. Besides, feeling her is just as beneficial and pleasurable for him. He does have to resist that urge to move to be more on top of her, but he remains with only his upper half leaning over her. The shoulder of his own robe starts to slip and fall from her own movement, and one would think he would notice the chill air, but his body is currently feeling too hot to.

He's also currently preoccupied by feeling something else. Although there's still fabric separating them, the hand at her breast starts to work a little more, his thumb lightly, firmly, and slowly circling and pressing against her, almost like a massage as he starts to get that feel and impression in his mind. No, she's not as "well endowed" as other women he's been with, but somehow she just...fits better against him. And this is really the first time he's done something like this, where it's not just a rough grab out of lust and need. That could always happen later, but right now he's actually being a little more conscious about she feels against him, and, more importantly, having her get used to it. He might make it a little difficult for her when he starts teasing her a bit, thumb flicking over that small peak, but riling her up is another thing that he wants.

At some point his other hand had also moved away from her shoulder and is now at her side. For now it's just resting there since he's focused on this one part first. But if he's doing that much one hand, what could he do with both?]

[ there might still be fabric separating them, but each movement of his thumb sends pleasurable jolts down her spine and she shifts even closer to (possibly unconsciously) seek out more. he really doesn't have much for her to work with, but she does move to press a soft kiss to the top of his head, and if she wasn't so content with what he was doing, she might drag him up for a real kiss, like she did before. for the moment, she likes it a little too much to give it up, though.

in fact, she likes it so much that when he starts teasing her, she makes a soft noise— one that may or may not sound suspiciously like his name— before she lifts a hand to press it to her mouth and stifle the sound on reflex.

everything he's doing, teasing included, is definitely getting her riled up, but she's still a little too self-conscious to not be flustered by the sound of her own voice. especially when the noise she made sounded... sort of foreign to her ears; she's never heard a sound like that come out of her own mouth before (or anyone else's, for that matter, but that part isn't important). of course, that puts her in an awkward position— she's embarrassed, hand still pressed to her mouth just in case, but she's also itching to help him push down her robe further, or to help him out of his.

and then there's the fact that she's not sure what would be too much, or too fast, either. would it be weird of her to loosen up her robe a little more? would he mind if she worked on the sash of his? those thoughts are occupying her mind, and if he keeps up with what he's doing, she's bound to snap and go for it sooner rather than later. ]

[hearing her voice like that...it also affects him in odd ways. It's not so much the sound itself (and for a moment there he did wonder if that had been his name, which is also rather provoking), but her voice. That he's stimulating her that much.

And...he...wants to hear it again. That carnal urge to hear her voice, to hear that sound that serves as signal that she's finding it pleasurable and enjoying it.

So his movements become a little more heated and a little more aggressive. Even if a part of him is trying to hold back, for a moment he loses himself to those desires. His mouth moves more back up her neck, closer to her jawline as he bites and takes in that sensitive flesh. The hand that had been teasing her roughly moves to pull away that side of the robe so that it can now finally touch and press firmly against her. Rather than just his thumb, it's now his whole hand, fingers flicking over the most sensitive areas.

And then there's his other hand. At first it slid down to her hip, gripping her firmly as if to pull her more to him, and there had been a moment where it might have crossed over closer to her navel. But he retains some self-awareness to know that would be too much, so instead it just runs up her torso, his touch firm, hot, wanting—roaming. At times it might mimic his other hand, pressing up against her other breast, but then it will move to grip another part of her, pulling her to him.

His whole body is also pressing closer against her, one leg moving further between her legs. If she hasn't noticed something about him before, she should soon. But he still remains only half on her, so he hasn't completely moved to be on top of her. It's just...getting a lot closer.]

Edited 2015-02-14 09:42 (UTC)

[ the fact that he gets more aggressive only serves to rile her up even more, especially when she feels his teeth against her neck— which is a sensation that she's really starting to grow fond of.

she does manage to keep her hand pressed to her mouth for a moment longer, but the impulsive urge to touch him and continue being touched, to feel his hands on more of her skin, quickly wins out, and both of her hands drop to the sash that holds her robe in place. it's barely even serving its purpose anymore, given that he's already tugged one side of it open, anyway. so, she fumbles with the knot that holds it together (which is surprisingly difficult, given the low light and their position), yanking on it roughly.

every so often, when he does something that feels particularly pleasurable, she tenses up, a barely-stifled moan or soft sigh escaping her, and that only fuels her frustration with her robe in the end. even though the process of getting the sash untied probably only take a few moments in the grand scheme of things, it feels like it takes much longer, and she just wants the damn thing off; she's actually considering asking him to give her a hand when the knot finally gives way.

the darkness was annoying while she was trying to get her sash untied, but now that the only thing standing between her and complete exposure is the fact that the robe itself is still settled over most of her body, she's... sort of thankful for it. they're moving quickly, both seemingly egged on by their desires, and she would probably want to kick herself if last-minute jitters about him potentially seeing her body came between them. she may not have been sure about what she wanted before, but the fact that she wants him, in one way or another, is pretty clear, at least.

so, she shoves any self-consciousness she may be feeling out of her mind, especially as she arches up in an attempt to get closer to him, and her hips make brief contact with his. she doesn't hold herself there, so it's hard to tell for sure (and her inexperience definitely doesn't help her tell if she's right, either), but— is he...?

she squeezes her eyes shut, feeling heat rise to her face as she shoves that thought out of her mind, too.

there's no way he could be enjoying touching her that much, right? ]

[Maybe not quite all the way there, but given how long it's been for him, how long he's had to hold back his feelings and urges for her, their time together in the bath, the incidents in the main room...and him being a guy—he's aroused. And even if it's just brief, that contact between their hips does not help lessen it in any way. In fact, he almost instinctively presses back to her, but somehow he manages to stop so it's more like a half-brush. All that sexual frustration just goes to his hands instead, his grip on her tightening, body tensing slightly.

At this point both hands had started to roam more around her, pulling and pushing more of the robe away from her, especially when he senses and feels her undo her sash. Now a hand is firmly against her hip, and he is very tempted to move it to a place he knows he shouldn't. Trying to hold back at this point is increasingly becoming difficult—he's honestly not used to it. So in an attempt to distract himself and give him some time to resist those urges, his other arm slides behind her back. As his mouth leaves her neck to rise up, the hand at the base of her head pulls her to him for a rough and hard kiss, teeth already biting. Rather than his hands at her chest, now its his own pressing down against her, now bare with the robes having been partially moved away both from her attempts and his own movements.

Take it slow he thought, ease her into it, he thought. Be attentive and not too rough on her, he thought. Definitely easier said than done once he got started. He just didn't expect that he would he be feeling this strong of a need for her or find her body so tempting for him, let alone that she would be receptive to it. He's really going to be fighting himself a lot during this and may have to just stop before he gets carried away.]

[ like she'd let him stop at this point. she's even surprising herself with how receptive she is, but now that they've gotten this far, there's no point in completely backing off. changing things up and trying not to go too fast? sure. stopping entirely? well, she'd rather not.

her arms slip around his shoulders when he moves to kiss her, pulling him down to be closer to her. his hands on her breasts had felt nice, but even the simple feeling of his skin on hers is electric at this point, so she arches up toward him as she returns the kiss, pressing her chest more firmly against his.

just like her own receptiveness has surprised her (given that this is her first relationship, her first time in bed with him, and that she's not the type to even consider sleeping with someone unless she has serious feelings for them), the fact that he's so immersed in what they're doing is a surprise. she had actually expected his experience to make it easier for him to hold back, or that it would make him less enthusiastic; that doesn't seem to be the case, but she doesn't mind too much, really. the way that his hands have roamed over so much of her, the rough way he kisses her, the fact that they've only stopped once since all of this started— all of those things only serve to make her feel more sure of herself and of the fact that he really does want her in the same way that she wants him.

maybe that's why she has the confidence to break the kiss after not too long, shifting herself around a bit so that she can dip her head to trail kisses (purposeful ones this time, unlike the light brushes of her lips that had started this) and tentative bites down his neck. on the other hand, as much as she might have an ego about some things, she really can't claim to be an expert when it comes to this— she's really just imitating what he had done to her. so... ]

Is this okay?

[ she says that between kisses, her voice somewhat breathless at this point. ]

[His breath is hot, quick, and a bit more audible than it had been not that long ago. There's a lot of energy being exerted and a lot more wanting to be released. Although he wants her mouth back on his, his eyes close and there's a long, deep, exhale as he feels her kisses and little bites on his neck. It just feels so...different.

Through the mental haze of pleasure, his mind tries to process her question. Is...what okay?]

You mean what you're doing? Yeah, it is. [His voice is a lot heavier, rougher, breathless.

Really, it's more than just "okay." He tilts his face slightly and there's a small intake of breath when she reaches one of his more sensitive areas. But it's a good feeling—a pleasurable one. It makes him try to lower his face to reach something of her. Neck, shoulder, anything.]

If you're not careful, I might lose control again.

[He says that in a teasing manner, his voice low and alluring, and his hands further emphasize that point as the one at hip moves up her side before back down again.

But the thought of him losing control...is an actual possibility, so he might also be saying it to remind himself that he needs to be careful.]

Edited 2015-02-15 09:35 (UTC)

[ really, would it be so bad if he lost control? the way that her teeth graze the spot that got that reaction out of him again is a wordless sign that she probably wouldn't mind it too much.

the fact that her mouth on his neck is having some sort of effect on him is yet another boost to her confidence, too. it means that he's not the only one who can do things that feel good— by following the example he set, she can return the favor.

so, return the favor she does.

it's a little clumsy, but she continues pressing kisses against his neck, and though the bites aren't quite as common, each one is a little rougher than the one that came before it; he'll probably be lucky if he comes out of this without at least a mark or two at the rate she's going.

however, she does lighten up on him so she can speak again after a moment, this time lifting her head a bit so she can look up at him. ]

Still good?

[ her voice has a slightly teasing edge to it, too. as more time passes, she feels more comfortable, and that makes it easier to have an exchange like this— though part of it might be an excuse to get him talking. not only is it reassuring to actually hear a verbal confirmation that she's headed in the right direction, but the way his voice sounded was... actually pretty appealing. even if she probably wouldn't be able to tell him that (it's too embarrassing, in spite of how far into this they are), she's definitely thinking about it. ]

[There's another intake of breath, a low hum from the deep within his throat. If he's lucky to have only one, then who knows how many she might have? He might try to be careful but some of those bites did have some force to them...though really, any real marks will probably be left in more intimate areas. At least it's a good thing they both wear high collars and scarves.

But she sure is a talkative one. Not that he minds too much, but it is different. There's a slight smirk as he looks down at her.]

For a first-timer. [Her inexperience shows, but she really isn't doing that bad. So long as she follows her instincts, he's sure it'll be pleasurable all the same.

But he also knows how she is, so he has a suspicion that she does need that reassurance. So he's going to take this opportunity to make it clear how he feels right now.

His voice lowers a bit more as his lips brush against hers.] Just do whatever you want. [His teeth lightly pull at her lower lip.] You're the only one I want to do this with right now...so there's no way I won't enjoy it. Just feeling you like this—right now—is enough to set me off, you know.

[As hot and sensual as those words might seem, there is some tenderness in his voice as well. A bit of genuineness lying beneath the more sexual overtones. That is how he really feels after all, and he just wants to make it a little clearer to her that he is very much attracted to her and is going to enjoy whatever she does to or with him.]

[ and there goes whatever cool she had.

hearing him say that actually catches her off guard, and even though she does move to kiss him properly in response (possibly to keep herself from blurting something weird out), her heart is racing and she can feel pricks of heat on her ears and the back of her neck, meaning that she's probably blushing more than she may have already been.

the fact that she can tell he's being genuine is embarrassing for sure, but it really does make her happy to hear. she trusts that he has feelings for her and she knows that he agreed to give a relationship a chance, but actually hearing him say that she's the only one he wants to do this with just makes it feel more real than it had before. like this isn't an impulsive, lust-driven encounter, but instead something special, in spite of how fast they've been going.

so, she's actually smiling— a real smile, not a teasing one or cheeky one— when she breaks the kiss to respond. ]

You're the only one I wanna do this with, too. [ she already hinted at that once before, when she said that she wanted to take this step with him, but it probably bears repeating.

she brushes her lips against his softly, one last time, before continuing: ] And I've liked everything you've done.

[ which... she hasn't said, but that should be pretty obvious, too, at this point. she has moved to meet him every step of the way, and she hasn't tried to keep him from doing anything (which she probably wouldn't be above doing if she didn't like something), so that should be pretty easy to see. ]

[There's certainly quite a bit of impulsion and lust involved, but...she's right. He is being genuine and if anything those forces are just being pushed by his true feelings for her. Feelings he's probably had for a while, has tried to ignore, and now finally really accepted that they're not going away. Knowing that despite his stupid actions she still wants him is also something that will always baffle but encourage and reassure as well. If anything, her own persistence will just make him try harder to be more honest about himself to her, at least with how he feels. He might still tell small lies, but what happened between them these past few weeks? It will be the last hurtful lie he's done to the both of them.

So he's happy to hear her words, a light smile meeting hers. And he can hear the sincerity in her voice, a sincerity he's always known she's had. Just...somehow his old self couldn't bring himself to trust it as he should have.

However, those words and feelings also incite some other thoughts and impulsive urges.]

...Aaaah, dammit, Leia. [He lowers his face onto the pillow alongside her ear, gritting his teeth.] You're making this really hard for me, you know that?

[The mood is just way too good. As sweet and tender as it is, by his very nature he wants to respond more physically. Yet he's aware that they're probably not ready for it.

Even if this is the perfect set-up, dammit.

Being a considerate boyfriend in an actual relationship is really hard, dammit!!]

[ when she feels the pillow dip, she moves a hand to lightly card through his hair, pushing it back a bit as she goes. maybe the gesture is meant to be soothing, or maybe she's just trying to busy herself while she turns his words over in her mind.

she she's pretty sure she knows what he means (how could she not, at this point?) and more than that, she understands. she might be enjoying the sweetness of this moment, but she has the urge to make things more physical, too. in fact, were this not her first time being in a situation like this, she probably would have encouraged him to stop holding back a long, long time ago. as it is, she's really starting to consider it. ]

Because you want to go all the way, right? [ she has to work to get those words out, because actually saying it out loud is... still embarrassing regardless of their current situation. she even has to take a breath to steel herself before continuing: ] Don't get me wrong! I do, too. But even if we decided to go for it...

[ and she trails off there for a long moment, her embarrassment rising. this is something that has been weighing on her mind on and off for a while now— since before she even came into the bedroom, really— but that doesn't make it any easier to say. ]

We're not, uh... prepared, are we?

[ hopefully he catches her drift. ]

[He does, though before she even got to that question, he's already turning his head to look at her in slight surprise. She...actually wants to do it? Well he thought she might feel like wanting to, but did she actually make a conscientious decision about it?

He's a little uncertain here, and once again her age creeps into the back of his mind...but she's eighteen now so it's not as much of a problem. So now it comes down more to that this is technically their first real night together and first real time that they're in an actual relationship and he said he'd go slow and not rush things, but—

But he's also certain that unlike with anyone else, he's not going to leave her anytime soon. He just...doesn't want her first time to be something she might regret, especially if, spirits forbid, things don't work out.

But right. Her question. He shifts a little so that he's back more on his side, looking a little conflicted as to how to. Say this.]

Well... [Being honest. Right.] Initially? No. I stopped carrying a while ago since I gave up having random one night flings. [And he says this easily enough since he has no real issue admitting it. It's the next bit that is causing him a little trouble.] But I was informed by the staff earlier that apparently this room is actually well prepared for "certain activities." [The look he gives her should be a good implication of what kind the woman had been referring to.]

I don't know where since I didn't look, but my bet would be in that side dresser right next to us. [Seems the most logical.] So if you really did want to... [A small rise of his shoulder.

But then he looks at her, expression softening.]

But even so, are you really sure you'd want to do it, Leia? I mean, I don't mind waiting for you. It's your first time, right?

[ she gives him a surprised look of her own when he says that. she understood that the woman had probably made a few assumptions about them, sure, but she had no clue that she actually...

she shakes her head in an attempt to keep herself on track and from getting too caught up in that line of thought. he asked her a question, too, so she should probably... answer it. right. ]

Yeah, it's my first time. [ just what kind of girl does he think she is? if this weren't such a serious situation, she would probably swat at him for that. as it is, she does say it in a way that suggests she thinks that much should be obvious. ] But I'm pretty sure I want to do it. I l—

[ she almost lets the elusive "L word" slip out as part of her reasoning, but she quickly shuts her mouth. she's harbored feelings for him for a while at this point, so maybe the fact that she thinks they're that strong isn't too strange, but... actually saying it? especially when they've only just made their relationship official? well, it's a little harder than it sounds. ]

I mean, I'm pretty serious about us, and I think we both want it, so... why not!

[ she's making an effort to stay casual about it, but the more she considers the situation they might be getting ready to jump into, the more antsy she feels. she means what she said— she's serious about them and she does want this— but that doesn't make her feel any less jittery. if anything, the fact that she genuinely wants to take things to the next level makes it worse. ]